from Jingle’s Thursday Poet Rally Week 21 (June 3-9, 2010)
im always flattered and grateful for all these awards and i always see them as encouragement to move forward and strive harder.. thanks a lot! i really appreciate it! 😀 and for this, im gonna share a short fictional story(more like conversation)…
*where were you all this time when i was looking for my soul mate?
-i was hiding.
-i was afraid you were still mad at me, and i was confused about how i feel. what i felt for you.
*what changed your mind? why did you come back?
-i came back to fight for you, to win you back.
*im already yours. yours for the taking. yours forever.
-i know.i guess im still confused.i hate myself.i want you but at the same time i cant.
-maybe im still confused.
*you’re just playing with me.
-im not.i like you.
*but you dont want me.
-i do want you.i just cant.
-i dont know.im not ready.i wish i were.
-i hope you can forgive me.
-im really sorry.
*i loved you. i still love you. ive loved you for so long.
-i know. i love you too. this is all my fault. i hate myself.
*past is past.
-can we still be friends?
*we are friends.
-im really sorry.
*……why do you choose to hurt yourself? when you can be happy. happy with me. but you choose not to. why?
-i feel like i dont deserve to be happy.
-i guess im not ready for a relationship. i havent moved on from my past and im still confused.
*ok. i get it. i’ll leave you. goodbye.
-(runs after her)
*what now? what do you want?
-can you please be not like this?
*what more do you want? ive done everything. everything. im tired. i quit.
*your sorry doesnt mean anything. it’s just empty words. you dont even mean it. i hate you.
-that’s right. you should hate me. this is all my fault. if i havent made the first move these wouldnt have happen.
*i hate you!
-i tried to love you. i tried my best to like you, to be with you. to make our relationship work. but i know i was only fooling myself and hurting you in the process. im sorry. im really sorry. i dont know what i should do. i didnt want this lie to last, that’s why im ending it.
*this lie? you were only fooling me? and i fell for that? and i loved you! i was a big fool! i should have never believed you. you were just playing with me!
-i wasnt playing with you. i loved you. but im not sure about myself. i dont know what i want.
*im tired. i quit. im tired of doing all the things to make this work. and it never had. just go. live as if you’ve never met me, and i’ll do the same. i’ll forget you. i’ll forget everything about you and live as if you never existed in my world.
-please dont do that.
*what do you want me to do? ive done everything!
-be friends with me?
*i dont want that.
-what do you want me to do then?
*then its goodbye.
* (walks away)